10 signs you might be boring

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We all want to be seen and described in more than one way. Maybe some of us want to be described as interesting. Others want to be described as funny. Many care deeply about being seen as compassionate and caring. Not a single one of us, however, wants to be called boring. We don’t like being around boring and uninteresting people, so it makes sense that we don’t want to be a member of this club. Most of you would prefer to be described as anything but boring. Even irritating and boring seem to be more desirable than boring. So why is it that we find boring so undesirable?

Think of it this way: it is very painful to be around people who are dull and lacking in energy and enthusiasm. So, in turn, we don’t want others to avoid us and leave us out, because we are painful to be around. Boring people are, in fact, quite a pain to be around. They contribute very little to the conversation. Or, if they contribute to the conversation, they talk endlessly about themselves or complain endlessly. They appear to be verbally and emotionally disengaged. They seem to have little ability to laugh at themselves or engage in witty and humorous ways. They seem to lack passion, interests and enthusiasm for life.

So, it would probably be beneficial for all of us to take a close look at ourselves and consider whether we are annoying those around us. We are often guilty of labeling others without thinking about what we can contribute to the situation. There are a number of questions that we should each think about. Answer the following questions, then we’ll talk.

1. Do you actively listen when others are talking to you rather than thinking about how you can start the conversation about yourself?

2. Ask yourself questions on a topic that seems to get your conversation partner excited about, or are you easily distracted and maybe looking at your phone or some other way indicating to yourself that you are thinking of something without no report?

3. Do you express your enthusiasm about a mutual interest without stealing the conversation?

4. Do you take turns talking about a topic that interests you and the people you talk to?

5. Are you curious? Are you curious? Do you follow the threads and ask questions about stories that two, three or four of you have talked about in the past?

6. Do you know your friend / child / mother’s weak point, ie the things that make them happy and that they like to talk about? Are you going in conversation?

7. Do you pay attention to social cues to determine if it’s time to let the other person do the talking? Can you tell when you are spending too much time with too much detail?

8. Do you have a series of stories you can use to stimulate the conversation? Over time, you learn which stories generate interest and excitement.

9. Do you sometimes take risks and share something private about yourself, such as what makes you anxious, afraid or vulnerable?

And…

10. Do your children, friends and colleagues seem to want to be around you?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, then the good news is that you are probably not boring. If you have a hard time answering these questions, you may need to take care of your conversational style. Good luck. It is always important and useful to do a little self-inventory. There is always time and space to correct course.


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