Fact Check: Are Your People Skills As Good As You Think?


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You can think of yourself as a “sociable person” because you get really good vibes from those you interact with. Or, at least you think you do. What are people really saying about you when you’re not around? Are there any obvious signs you are ignoring? Even if you don’t see yourself as a “outgoing person,” you may still feel that you are valued within your own social circle of family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. They understand that you are not really an extrovert, but they still love you, don’t they?

Psychology translates the vague expression “human skills” into a somewhat more quantifiable concept – namely, emotional intelligence, or equalizer. Considered more important for success in life than academic intelligence or “intelligence from books,” QE is now integrated into management style research. David J. Gavin and colleagues (2017) at Marist College investigated how EQ helps workers overcome the negative impact of a hostile work environment, and in doing so, they laid the groundwork for how much you stand.

Gavin and colleagues set out to assess the role of QE in overcoming the impact of “subversive leadership” on the mental and physical health of workers within an organization. The subversive leader, they note, sows doubts among subordinates as to the top leader’s competence, perhaps going further to spread rumors about supposed cuts or layoffs the CEO is considering making. Needless to say this social weakening, as it is more commonly known, can cause workers to experience high levels of stress when worrying about their own future. CEOs, at the same time, can also experience high stress levels as they see their authority eroded, as well as their employees’ confidence in their declining abilities.

In Gavin et al. study, undergraduate business students, some of whom were already employed, read scenarios depicting the subversive behavior of a second in command. They then completed a questionnaire measuring the confidence and satisfaction and loyalty they would have with their work in this situation. In addition, they completed a general EQ questionnaire. As the authors predicted, people who read these subversive scenarios indeed believed that they would have lower job satisfaction and a greater intention to leave if exposed to these real-life situations.

The impact of subversive leadership appears to be primarily due to the loss of confidence in the hypothetical boss. However, for people with higher emotional intelligence, this drop in confidence caused by subversive leaders had much less impact on how they would feel related to work. As the authors concluded, “Employees with higher levels of emotional intelligence are better at positive mood, creativity, information processing and problem solving. In other words, if you understand and deal with your emotions better, you will be better. able to cope with a hostile interpersonal situation.

CEOs, as the Marist authors have observed, are also harmed when their immediate subordinates plot against them. As an antidote, Gavin and colleagues recommend that leaders engage in “caring coaching”, in which they help employees “achieve their dreams, personal change and aspirations.” buffer against any encroachment that a vice president might attempt to make on the leadership position in the organization.

Returning now to the question of interpersonal skills, the study by Gavin et al. One study suggests that being sensitive to the needs of others, helping to support them, knowing how to cope with an uncomfortable environment, and avoiding the trap of underestimating those in charge are all part of maintaining a healthy daily existence. With that in the background, let’s see how your own people skills stack up against each other.

1. Are you able to tap into your own emotions when things are bothering you? EQ involves being able to read yourself as well as other people. If you are in touch with your inner feelings, even if they are not particularly pleasant, you will be in a better mood and therefore a more pleasant companion.

2. Do you knowingly or subconsciously try to outdo those who are trying to guide you through a situation? The act of subversive leadership makes everyone around you feel stressed out, especially when you yourself are in a position of authority.

3. Do you support the needs of others to be successful? Others will be much less likely to trust you, as suggested by Gavin et al., If you don’t encourage them to dream. You might think you are funny when you tease people for trying to accomplish something. However, these jokes come at the cost of making people doubt your sincerity.

4. Do people tend to leave soon after entering a situation? Having good interpersonal relationships means being with you is desirable because you give others a positive image of themselves. No one wants to be with someone who always has a negative outlook on things (aka a “Debbie downerIf it seems like the people you talk to are anxious to move on, that means you are not a positively reinforcing conversation partner.

5. Do you always think about jokes instead of really listening to others? Being high in EQ means being high in empathy, a skill that requires paying attention to the subtle signals that others give off. If you are constantly dreaming about your next comeback, witty observation, or catchy line, not only do you run the risk of being undermined, but also not paying attention to cues your humor is missing. not appreciated.

6. Are you the only one laughing at your jokes? People who are really funny tend not to laugh at themselves. The most successful comedians are humorous because they engage in a certain degree of self-mockery (and therefore don’t laugh at what they say) or because they take any difficult situation they might create seriously. by their antics. If you want to be seen as a social good, try laughing at other people’s jokes rather than your own.

7. Are you invited to social gatherings? This may seem like the most obvious clue to your relationship skills, but it stems from the six points above. If you’re seen as supportive, socially sensitive, empathetic, and fun to be around, you’ll be number one on everyone’s list for both informal chats and, ultimately, long-term relationships. Be honest with yourself and take stock of how often you are included. If you find your dance card more empty than you would like, this would be a good time to revisit the questions above.

As the Marist study shows, good relationships are an essential aspect in reducing the stress level of people, whether they are leaders or followers. If you take stock of where you are or are not succeeding in your own people skills, relationship flourishing will be all the more achievable.

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