Self-love | Psychology today


Most of us know what self-esteem is but don’t understand it. You eat because you understand that you need food. It is sad that most of us try to conquer outer battles like finding love, success, or happiness, but we don’t understand that self-love is the root from which everything grows.

How can we love the next person effectively before we have learned to love ourselves unconditionally? When you love yourself conditionally, you cannot love another unconditionally, because why give someone else something you don’t have? Our understanding of self-esteem is learned during the childhood of those who took care of us. In most cases, it is taught unconsciously; we just got a glimpse by looking at those who fed us.

Self-esteem is more than just wearing a nice outfit and applying expensive makeup and then pretending you love yourself. Self-love is an umbrella term for the various acts of love that we perform towards ourselves physically and not physically. There are a lot of well-groomed people I know who have no idea what it means to love each other. Loving yourself is not an act of selfishness, it is an act of kindness to others because when you love yourself, others don’t have to deal with your unresolved issues.

Self-esteem has four aspects: self-awareness, self-esteem, self-esteem, and self-care.

If one is missing, then you don’t have full self-esteem. To have it, we must be aligned with these four aspects. The journey to achieving self-love is no different from facing your demons. This is the reason why most of us miss it because no one wants to sit down and have a conversation with themselves. Self-love is difficult to achieve because it means having to get rid of certain things and people that we are addicted to. Our dependence on people and habits that go against the premise of self-esteem means that we compromise and therefore love ourselves conditionally, in return for the momentary rush we get from these things. entertaining.


Self-awareness is being aware of your thought processes: your thoughts, how they affect your emotions, and how emotions cause you to act. Are you aware of the thoughts that make you angry and make you act impulsively? Where do they come from and why are they there? Why are they pushing you to act the way you do? The same applies to what makes you happy. Why does it make you happy? It is going out of oneself to examine oneself. Self-awareness is the key to emotional intelligence. What drives you crazy might not stop driving you crazy, but you will know how to react effectively or how not to respond at all. People with high emotional intelligence have emotions just like us. But they take out their emotions to process them effectively. It also includes walking away or avoiding situations that you know will trigger certain unwanted feelings and reactions in you. If you can’t walk away or avoid the situation, self-awareness allows you to redirect the energy you put into those emotions. One way to improve your self-awareness is to keep a journal of your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Self esteem

Due to the continuous negative programming we face in society, we focus on the bad and unpleasant things and project that negativity onto ourselves so often without even realizing it. You were born with an endless sea of ​​potential; You have it now and you will have it until the day you die. Just as we cannot create or destroy energy, we can only explore or hide potential. Self-esteem is our belief in ourselves, and often times we find it difficult to believe in ourselves. It is because of past unfortunate circumstances that we went through that we did not completely get rid of. Self-esteem is in all the good things about you. Everyone has something good about them. If you’re struggling to find your self-worth, find a day that you can spend choosing the things you did well or the things others appreciated about you. You can be a cinch because you don’t know your worth. There is never a day when you are not worthy. Self-esteem is not determined by anything; you don’t have to do anything to be worth it. You are fair. Know it and understand it. Your strengths, talents, and acts of kindness to others are just an expression of your self-worth.


Self-esteem results from self-esteem. A high sense of self-worth leads to high self-esteem. Self-esteem is the realization that we are worth regardless of what we have accomplished or what qualities we may have; self-esteem is more related to our qualities and achievements. The exercise mentioned above appeals more to self-esteem, but I used it for self-esteem because we work better with things that we can see rather than things that we cannot. see. When you develop a sense of self-worth, self-esteem will come more naturally. Self-esteem takes into account three factors: how we were loved as a child, the accomplishments of people in our age group, and our accomplishments relative to those of our babysitters. Self-esteem has everything to do with being satisfied and comfortable with who you are, where you are and what you have. If you want self-esteem, improve your self-esteem. Remind yourself every day that you don’t have to justify your existence. Your need to accomplish certain things is often due to your need to justify your existence.


This aspect which has more to do with the physical but it is not entirely physical. Self-care is all of the acts we do to stay healthy, like taking a bath, eating a balanced diet, staying hydrated, and doing things we love. Taking care of yourself can also come in the form of watching what you consume, such as the music you listen to, the things you watch, and the people you hang out with. Compared to other aspects of self-love, taking care of yourself is easier to do. It is best to start your journey of finding self-love here.

Ask yourself this question as often as possible: “What would someone do who loves themselves?” Ask yourself this question whenever you need to make a decision, whether trivial or important. This exercise will be accompanied by advice and a warning.

  • Advice: Trust your instincts; your inner self knows better.
  • Warning: You won’t always like what your gut tells you to do.

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